When Should We/I Adopt?
For those of you who are wondering this, well, there really isn't a perfect time... sorry to disappoint you.
There are, however, some questions you might want to ask yourselves to derive when will be YOUR best time to adopt:
1) When do you want your child/children to be when you turn 50? (Well, either one of you; just benchmark against which of you will get there first.)
2) Is your marriage currently child-friendly/child-safe? That is, is your relationship stable? Dig deep into your hearts and be totally honest. If it is not, do work at sorting out your issues because with a baby/child thrown into your family equation it will surely NOT help. Imagine having all these issues to sort out ON TOP OF being exhausted, ill-adjusted to your new family, etc....
3) What kind of support do you have around you to help you? Yes, spouses are included...
4) Are your jobs secured in order to provide for the child? No, you don't need to be a multi-millionaire, neither do you need to be a multi-thousandaire... just enough to be able to buy milk, diapers, provide a clean and safe home or childcare for your child.
5) If you hold hectic jobs, will you be able to slow down at least for the first 6 months of your child's arrival to bond and settle him? Well, it sounds ideal but if there isn't the bonding and security given to your child, pls pls don't just blame it on adoption when he's naughty or becomes a rebellious uncompromising teen next time - this happens even to biological kids who don't have their parents' attention and security.
Does anyone have any more to add?
There are, however, some questions you might want to ask yourselves to derive when will be YOUR best time to adopt:
1) When do you want your child/children to be when you turn 50? (Well, either one of you; just benchmark against which of you will get there first.)
2) Is your marriage currently child-friendly/child-safe? That is, is your relationship stable? Dig deep into your hearts and be totally honest. If it is not, do work at sorting out your issues because with a baby/child thrown into your family equation it will surely NOT help. Imagine having all these issues to sort out ON TOP OF being exhausted, ill-adjusted to your new family, etc....
3) What kind of support do you have around you to help you? Yes, spouses are included...
4) Are your jobs secured in order to provide for the child? No, you don't need to be a multi-millionaire, neither do you need to be a multi-thousandaire... just enough to be able to buy milk, diapers, provide a clean and safe home or childcare for your child.
5) If you hold hectic jobs, will you be able to slow down at least for the first 6 months of your child's arrival to bond and settle him? Well, it sounds ideal but if there isn't the bonding and security given to your child, pls pls don't just blame it on adoption when he's naughty or becomes a rebellious uncompromising teen next time - this happens even to biological kids who don't have their parents' attention and security.
Does anyone have any more to add?
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