We Just Want You To Know...Our Adoption Journey

My little 19 mth old loves to sit on my legs... I'm her portable seat... with pleasure! Bouncing up & down on my little red wagon....

For those of you who are wondering this, well, there really isn't a perfect time... sorry to disappoint you. There are, however, some questions you might want to ask yourselves to derive when will be YOUR best time to adopt: 1)  When do you want your child/children to be when you turn 50?  (Well, either one of you; just benchmark against which of you will get there first.) 2)  Is your marriage currently child-friendly/child-safe? That is, is your relationship stable?  Dig deep into your hearts and be totally honest.  If it is not, do work at sorting out your issues because with a baby/child thrown into your family equation it will surely NOT help.  Imagine having all these issues to sort out ON TOP OF being exhausted, ill-adjusted to your new family, etc.... 3)  What kind of support do you have around you to help you?  Yes, spouses are included... 4)  Are your jobs secured in order to provide for the child?  No, you don't need to be a multi-millionaire, neither

With a blink of an eye, #1 will turn 6 this month.... wow!  Can't believe how fast these 6 yrs have passed - some days of looking after her since she was a newborn & toddler seemed endless and long yet it has all gone almost too quickly.   She has blossomed into a beautiful young girl; always polite, pleasant, caring, thoughtful, matured for her age... all I had wanted and more in a child I call my own.   Yesterday, she dropped her first tooth; bottom right front tooth - had to do it at the dentist and she was a real trooper.  Though scared, she took a deep breath and left it all to the Dr Yang.  I was soooo proud of her.  Of course I have played Tooth Fairy last night.  Left a S$1 gold coin, a note saying "You were so brave!" and her little tooth under the pillow.  The look on her face was priceless when she found it.  Well, half of her thinks it was me and the other half thinks there really is a Tooth Fairy.  I'll leave it to her to allow herself to acc

I had a very unexpected morning today: bumped into some acquaintance on the way out. When he saw me carrying #2, a baby, he said his wife, who was seated in the car, would love to meet her. When I asked if they have kids, he said,"We had 2 miscarriages and have a long story.". well, I believe there is no such thing as coincidence especially with the Big Man above. He had sent them my way for a reason. When S said,"I don't recall seeing you pregnant but I guess I haven't seen you for some time.", I knew that was my que. I said,"I wasn't. And i too, have a long story. Ask your wife to come out of the car." The handful of childless couples I've met and journeyed with so far, all, like us before our girls came along, were trying different methods of conceiving and seeing different Western; or Eastern doctors. This process is important - it is important NOT to jump into it. It is necessary to know that you have tried all means necess

I just gotta share this book that I'm reading with you. I don't know the reasons of your adoption(s); mine was clearly medical - crazy hormones that refuses to behave.  Even today.  With my crazy hormones, I'm constantly reminded of my infertility. What used to bug me like crazy, is today, just an irritating inconvenience - I shall spare of it the details. Anyway, I chanced upon the above book at the library last week. What made me borrow it was a particular chapter - Infertility & Medical Interference. Here's a segment which particularly caught my attention: "Some women feel that society devalues adoption and may reject it because of that....they reported that love in adoption is second rate because it lacks the biological bond, that the kids are second rate because their genetic past is a mystery, and that adoptive parenting isn't "real" parenting. Women who feel this way are still infertile, according to the authors of Let's Talk Adop

Being an adoptive mom, I was dreading the time I had to begin disclosing her adoption to her.  I learnt from another mom that she started practicing her disclosure when she bathed or changed her baby.  What a fantastic idea! My baby girl was then about 9 months old and I decided to try it out.  Boy was it a disaster!  First of all, the vocabulary:  birth mom, forever mommy, put up for adoption vs give up for adoption, etc, just couldn't flow smoothly.  I was saying it all wrong!  How challenging was it to use positive words!  When I did finally feel comfortable with the sentences I was saying, I wrote them down.  And the list started to grow. And became more refined. For my daughter, I wanted to cement my love for her with my words to affirm that though we are an adoptive family, we ARE a family; just brought together differently.  So that was when the idea of publishing a book struck. At adoptive parents support groups, we are all encouraged to create a *Life Book for each o

(here's another blog I had written sometime ago and forgot to publish....too funny not to!) Bumped into some old friends a couple of Sundays ago and they commented that we now finally have kids and didn't we get married some time ago, how come the kids are so young?  And were they conceived naturally... blah de blah.  No, I wasn't offended at all cos it's the truth, we have been married coming 14.5 yrs now and our kids are just 5.5 & 1 yo.  I replied that we are adoptive parents (I seldom like to say that our kids are adopted, rather prefer to say they we are adoptive parents).  I then realised I had told her without asking the permission of my 5.5 yo.  Luckily she wasn't within earshot... but I took the opportunity to ask for permission when we went to the ladies and it went like this: Me: "Jie, can I tell Aunty G that we are an adoptive family?" #1:  "No, mommy." Me:  "Why not?" #1:  "Because it's a secret!"