We Just Want You To Know...Our Adoption Journey

I was driving my 8 year old home from school, she quietly said,”  Mummy, Nicole asked if there was something wrong with me, that’s why my tummy mummy give me away? ”    Although I was driving, I could see tears pooling in her eyes and could definitely hear it in her tone of voice.    My heart ached for my little one as I braved myself to ask, “Do you think there is something wrong with you?” (Throw pebbles & watch the ripples......)    She blinked back her tears and asked, “Is there?”.    I decided that telling her how perfect she is in my eyes might sound too defensive so I decided to remind her of her unique talents.  I said, "Well, you are a natural athlete; see how well you are doing at gymnastics and ballet, you scored full marks at your mid-year for Chinese (a language we don't even speak at home!), how good you are with people around us, how big your heart is, how funny you are.... so to me, you are as perfect as perfect can...

Goodness gracious!  Can't believe it's nearly the end of 2013 and I'm still blinking at how fast my kids are sprouting right before my eyes!  Hardly any time to take stock sometimes, but it is necessary. Apologies for not providing updates regularly though....  I'm either too busy, too tired (old mom syndrome), too distracted and yes, too dang lazy. My elder girl turned 8 recently and I asked a good friend to bake her favourite Oreos Cheesecake.  On the cake was to be a photo of her.  It was there and then that I started looking at the pics again and realised how time has passed!   I love this series of sculptures by Willow Tree; my sis-in-law sent a few to us when we had the girls. http://www.demdaco.com/Parents-with-2-children/00024,default,pd.html?start=20&cgid=1060003&brandId=WT Each time I marvel at my girls, I'm bathed in awe at how my life  changed so dramatically when we decided to be adoptive parents.  On the back...

Being an adoptive mom, I was dreading the time I had to begin disclosing her adoption to her.  I learnt from another mom that she started practicing her disclosure when she bathed or changed her baby.  What a fantastic idea! My baby girl was then about 9 months old and I decided to try it out.  Boy was it a disaster!  First of all, the vocabulary:  birth mom, forever mommy, put up for adoption vs give up for adoption, etc, just couldn't flow smoothly.  I was saying it all wrong!  How challenging was it to use positive words!  When I did finally feel comfortable with the sentences I was saying, I wrote them down.  And the list started to grow. And became more refined. For my daughter, I wanted to cement my love for her with my words to affirm that though we are an adoptive family, we ARE a family; just brought together differently.  So that was when the idea of publishing a book struck. At adoptive parents support groups, we are all...

Who am I? I'm now a full time mom, ex-'Love-My-Job-Like-Hell-Never-Thought-I'd-Quit' Marketeer :) The usual story, took too long after getting married to start a family cos (see above para) and realised that it wasn't that easy to conceive. Traditional Chinese Meds, hormone therapy, IUI, jabs, blood tests and laproscophies over 5 years was really a lot to take. (No, we didn't try IVF). Emotionally it was taxing, lots of mood swings, of course a lot of tears - monthly, when 'Aunty Jane' visits.... [If you are on a similar journey of infertility, you're not alone and don't go through it alone. Share with your husband, your mom, your girlfriends and/or be part of a support group and if you can't find one, start one. It really helps to talk about it and be privy to thought processes shared by others.] Adoption was a remote option of mine - yeah, the usual reasons of 1) I don't know the birthparents (smokers? on drugs? crazy genes?.... ...