Is there something wrong with me?

I was driving my 8 year old home from school, she quietly said,” Mummy, Nicole asked if there was something wrong with me, that’s why my tummy mummy give me away?”  Although I was driving, I could see tears pooling in her eyes and could definitely hear it in her tone of voice.  My heart ached for my little one as I braved myself to ask, “Do you think there is something wrong with you?” (Throw pebbles & watch the ripples......)  She blinked back her tears and asked, “Is there?”.  I decided that telling her how perfect she is in my eyes might sound too defensive so I decided to remind her of her unique talents.  I said, "Well, you are a natural athlete; see how well you are doing at gymnastics and ballet, you scored full marks at your mid-year for Chinese (a language we don't even speak at home!), how good you are with people around us, how big your heart is, how funny you are.... so to me, you are as perfect as perfect can be!”  

I took the opportunity to revisit some role plays we have done before when she was laughed at, a reply that said,” I’m from outer space!”  (Taken from an article “Helping Classmates Understand Adoption” https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/HelpingClassmatesUnderstandAdoption.pdf.) As soon as I reminded her of this reply, her face lit up and said, “OK, Mummy!  This is what I will say next time!”  I continued affirming her, how much we love her for who she is and that no one is perfect anyway.

As difficult as it is to see our children experiencing this type of hurt, I consciously turn it into an opportunity to empower them or to process their emotions which are ever-evolving.  We might not be able to take all their hurts away but we can definitely let them know that we are right by their sides when it happens and that we can continue empowering them.  Just another day in paradise....