Journeying with childless couples
I had a very unexpected morning today: bumped into some acquaintance on the way out. When he saw me carrying #2, a baby, he said his wife, who was seated in the car, would love to meet her. When I asked if they have kids, he said,"We had 2 miscarriages and have a long story.". well, I believe there is no such thing as coincidence especially with the Big Man above. He had sent them my way for a reason.
When S said,"I don't recall seeing you pregnant but I guess I haven't seen you for some time.", I knew that was my que. I said,"I wasn't. And i too, have a long story. Ask your wife to come out of the car."
The handful of childless couples I've met and journeyed with so far, all, like us before our girls came along, were trying different methods of conceiving and seeing different Western; or Eastern doctors. This process is important - it is important NOT to jump into it. It is necessary to know that you have tried all means necessary to conceive before exploring adoption otherwise, it might always be at the back of your minds if you have done so. This might prevent you from opening your hearts and minds toward your adopted child. What if you conceive after adopting? Well, it happens only 25% of the time. From the families I know, all of them react the same way as biological families; all are protective of the feelings of their first born, well, first child in our case. So don't worry unnecessarily; once you have adopted, you will most likely fall head over heels ovef your child - it's rather impossible not to - and as I've always said, the main difference between biological and adoptive families is the disclosure bit. The rest is the same. Just base your family on love and trust and the rest will take care of itself under this solid foundation.
When S said,"I don't recall seeing you pregnant but I guess I haven't seen you for some time.", I knew that was my que. I said,"I wasn't. And i too, have a long story. Ask your wife to come out of the car."
The handful of childless couples I've met and journeyed with so far, all, like us before our girls came along, were trying different methods of conceiving and seeing different Western; or Eastern doctors. This process is important - it is important NOT to jump into it. It is necessary to know that you have tried all means necessary to conceive before exploring adoption otherwise, it might always be at the back of your minds if you have done so. This might prevent you from opening your hearts and minds toward your adopted child. What if you conceive after adopting? Well, it happens only 25% of the time. From the families I know, all of them react the same way as biological families; all are protective of the feelings of their first born, well, first child in our case. So don't worry unnecessarily; once you have adopted, you will most likely fall head over heels ovef your child - it's rather impossible not to - and as I've always said, the main difference between biological and adoptive families is the disclosure bit. The rest is the same. Just base your family on love and trust and the rest will take care of itself under this solid foundation.
Comments
Post a Comment